Like a box of chocolate…

I’ve had enough.

No, don’t try to reason with me, this is too much.

I will try not to think of you when I wake up in the morning and ask myself if somehow you are also awake. I have my own life to lead and my own life to think of.

No, I won’t even think of you while I’m eating my lunch wondering if you’re doing the same thing, because sooner or later I know you will.

No, never again will I go to the comfort room and lock myself in just to have some privacy to piteously think of you, and to cry my emotions away.

And no, never will I again think of you last when I go to sleep. Sleep is my only rest, so please don’t plague me in my dreams.

I am moving on.

I’ll try to wake up in the morning and smile and think not of why you left but that once you stayed.

And if I feel the need to cry, it will not be for the future that we could have, not for the regrets that I have nor of the anger that I feel, but I will cry because of a love that I never was able to share with the one man I felt it for.

I will cry for the love that was lost, and not for the man who left.

I will give my affections to any man who is in need of it, but not my heart because I still am trying to get it back from you.

I will give him the love that you never wanted … my heart that I so longed to give you … and the words that once was yours. Worthy or not worthy of it, at least he’s here, you’re not.

I’ll try to hold back the tears when I think of you.

I’ll just try to smile.

I am moving on…

… and hoping that the next thing would be letting you go.

                                            5/8/08

~ by invictus-1997 on May 10, 2008.